She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
