Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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