why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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