can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize