He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
