bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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