did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
