dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Acid is not a monday night drug
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
