She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
