I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
