In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
