I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
