if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i out mim tonsoeep
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