don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
