Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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