He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
