so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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