i barfeds in our rink
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize