My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think a kid would responsible me up
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
