So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
