Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
