Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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