pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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