Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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