Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
