i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
