Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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