Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
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he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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