so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
