Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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