i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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