the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
