Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
