Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.

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  (760): No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend. http://tfl.nu/k1h1
  Replies (6) Good night (2466) Bad night (896)
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  (925): View more from California

  I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(

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  (925): I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :( http://tfl.nu/pd8d
  Replies (26) Good night (696) Bad night (3760)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!

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  (816): YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!! http://tfl.nu/o3fb
  Replies (29) Good night (985) Bad night (5019)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis

  (757): View more from Virginia

  your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.

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  (443): Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis (757): your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though. http://tfl.nu/xhh4
  Replies (46) Good night (5662) Bad night (2129)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.

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  (319): In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums. http://tfl.nu/weac
  Replies (36) Good night (7124) Bad night (834)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hannah Montana > iCarly

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely

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  (847): Hannah Montana > iCarly (309): I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely http://tfl.nu/uzzz
  Replies (49) Good night (1473) Bad night (5321)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.

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  (214): My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/3ozf
  Replies (54) Good night (9953) Bad night (1588)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.

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  (806): That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car. http://tfl.nu/uk3l
  Replies (8) Good night (2090) Bad night (3329)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?

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  (509): I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become? http://tfl.nu/prj3
  Replies (11) Good night (938) Bad night (3649)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence

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  (770): Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence http://tfl.nu/sug8
  Replies (15) Good night (2980) Bad night (1024)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you

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  (907): I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone? (810): shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you http://tfl.nu/u0b0
  Replies (14) Good night (2486) Bad night (848)
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  (209): View more from California

  Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.

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  (209): Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER. http://tfl.nu/edtf
  Replies (11) Good night (1025) Bad night (1067)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?

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  (817): Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one? http://tfl.nu/bc4f
  Replies (3) Good night (587) Bad night (344)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.

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  (970): In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma. http://tfl.nu/78q2
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (470)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.

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  (813): He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants. http://tfl.nu/o9ns
  Replies (1) Good night (679) Bad night (282)

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