Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy