i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
