You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
