he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize