I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
