i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
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An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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