I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i think my cat just said my name.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
