Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
