Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
