My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Are we still banned from the library?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize
