My friends, they love my intelligence
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
