he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
