Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
