No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
