just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
