Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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