This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
