Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize