"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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