Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
