Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
