Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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