I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
