We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
