Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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