so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
