i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
