I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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