My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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