oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
