We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
