If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You were trust falling into bushes
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
