guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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