well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize