Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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