Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
